Grace for the Good Girl: Letting Go of the Try-hard Life
By Emily Freeman
If ever there was a book written just for me, this is it. Recently, I was asked what I thought people would say about me after I died. Without hesitation I answered, she tried really hard. Good girls want to be good—make that perfect, all the time, and that protects them from a lot of baggage, but it doesn’t protect them from their own expectations. The small-group leader’s guide at the end of the book is detailed and very helpful for individual study as well as for group study.
As Freeman explains, good girls don’t trust anyone, not even God. They would do anything to please God (except receive what He’s freely given.) But, when it comes to trusting God, that’s another story. Trusting sounds so passive. It doesn’t require doing and it looks weak, incompetent, and irresponsible, which is something good girls avoid at all costs. We good girls walk a fine line between appearing vulnerable enough so that people know we’re authentic yet “not so vulnerable that all our mess hangs out.”
After exposing the good girl for who she really is, Freeman explains how good girls can let go of the counterfeit things they trust—their good reputations, their right to be right, to be heard and understood, and all the other entitlements we deserve because we try so hard. “We cannot release these rights on our own. Without Christ, these rights are all we have. But with Him, we can release the right to be perfect and never mess up.”
Good girls believe that doing good is being good, and that definition is the very epitome of self-righteousness. Freeman defines being humble as seeing ourselves as God sees us, no more, no less. God asks us to trust His righteousness—“not just to help, but to do” in me what I cannot do even when I try my hardest.